Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Farewell 2015

I've been putting this off; bidding adieu to 2015. Searching for the perfect words, thoughtful insight and a collection of photos to embody what I'm trying to convey. Quite honestly, it isn't coming to me like it normally does. Typically I have a photo-heavy post that is easy to narrate, and I'm buzzing at the thought of sharing another adventure with you, but right now I'm struggling for words. My draining battery, and the blinking cursor are daunting reminders of just that.
2015 was the year that I fell hard for blogging, it was my first full year of doing it and something about transcending beyond a keyboard and talking with y'all makes my insides feel all warm and fuzzy. Do I blog or make videos as often as I'd like to? Definitely not, this is something that 2016 will hopefully offer up more time for me to do.
I went on multiple trips in 2015. Marco Island, Chicago, New York and a slew of random road trips with the mister. Money spent on travel will never be regretted, this is one of my greatest epiphanies from 2015. I also discovered that embracing change is far easier than fighting it. For a good part of 2015 I felt trapped, stuck in my own head, ridden with something that left me feeling like I was alone and inadequate. I found myself feeling like I was living for everyone else. I wanted to live for myself, not follow the mainstream, and have my life be a representation of me and not my square images and punny remarks. That's when I picked up a pair of scissors and chopped my hair. I needed a change. Was it impulsive and slightly extreme? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell yes.
Weekly, I learn lessons on things being out of my control. Which are still difficult concepts for me to grasp, I'm a bit of a control freak. Letting go; putting whatever is on my mind, out into the world and letting it do it's thing. Whether you're religious or not, believe in a higher power or don't, you can understand that letting go is damn near impossible, but absolutely worth it.

Daily I'm taught compassion, silliness and lessons on being absolutely genuine from our sweet dog, Gus. Hans and I have moments pretty regularly where we just stare at one another and say, "We have a dog. We're married, like, you're my husband. How crazy is that?!". Our third anniversary came and went this year, and I realize how lucky I am to be so madly in love with the same man, who as a 15-year-old once whisked me off to Taco Bell and kissed me with Watermelon Pop Rocks in (true story, our first date ladies and gentlemen).

2015, and we're talking the end of 2015 y'all, served as a vital moment of clarity for me. I vowed to use my time like currency and stop living for others. It wasn't an easy decision to make and I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't cried a few times in my moms office, swallowed feelings of sadness and avoided a few topics at all costs.
2015 saw me through a lot of growth.
Am I exactly where I want to be? Absolutely not. Will this road be easy? You can bet your ass it won't. I'm looking forward to the challenge though. So, bring it on 2016. I'm ready for new endeavors, bettering my time management skills, traveling to Europe with the love of my life, cherishing Gus as a three-year-old and carefully spending my time with loved ones, creating, and documenting!


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